Monday, September 29, 2003
Motherhood is often about choices. Sometimes we agonize over them and sometimes they are made so quickly it is really just instinct. However they are made we, and our children, have to learn to live with them. Strangely some of the decisions we think are so very important don't turn out to be as major as we feared although sometimes the converse is true is as well. Hopefully others can learn from some of my decisions and the repercussions they had.
My journey to motherhood culminated on Thursday, Feb. 15, 2001, when I awoke to discover my water had broken. Not in the great gush you always encounter in fiction, but more of a slow trickle. I was also experiencing some cramping but as I'd had some severe Braxton-Hicks before that I couldn't be sure I was actually in labor.
I had a doctor's appointment already scheduled for later that day. It was meant to be my last as I was scheduled to be induced on Monday although my due date was not until March 1 because the baby was large and I'd already been on bed rest due to issues related to blood pressure and fluid retention. Overall I'd had a horrendous pregnancy with morning sickness that lasted the entire time and sometimes left me totally incapacitated.
After showering and eating breakfast, the pains seemed more pronounced. I felt a bit more urgency but didn't want to inconvenience anyone so I packed my bag and drove myself to the doctor's office--hours early for my appointment.
Sure enough, the nurse practioner confirmed I was in labor and called to the hospital which was fortunately next door. Within the hour I was registered and installed in my room and demanding drugs! I hadn't made a decision either way regarding natural child birth although I'd thought I could tough it out longer than that!
I called my husband at work and waited and waited and waited. Fortunately for him the drugs arrived before he did so I was feeling a bit more mellow.
The afternoon progressed rather slowly and strangely watching TV and getting regular checks.
By evening things had reached a critical point though and were ready to move. The only problem was the baby wasn't correctly positioned and various positions didn't seem to make a difference in shifting him.
Labor progressed for several more hours and the epidural wore off. I was getting more tired and progress wasn't being made. Finally, the doctor presented me with the option of a "C" section or using forceps. I decided on forceps and at 11:30 my son Noah was born weighing in at 10 pounds 2 ounces and measuring 23 inches long.
Now a few final notes about decisions and choices...
I chose my hospital basically on the recommendation of a friend (I had several to choose from within an hour's drive). There is a hospital only minutes from my house but I opted for one that was about a half hour drive as I felt I'd get better care, more services, and have a wider choice in ob-gyn. I was very happy with the hospital, the nursing staff, and the support and services we received.
I chose my ob-gyn after a bit of research into my available choices. I really wanted a woman (I've always had a woman gyn) and my friends in the area had all had men obs. All during my prenatal care I was very happy with my doctor and her staff. My husband and I always felt comfortable talking with her and asking questions.
However, when delivery time came she was on vacation, literally out of the country. Her backup was delivering another baby in another hospital so I ended up with some doctor (male!) on call and then he left in the evening and I ended up with a different doctor entirely doing the delivery. My wrist ID had all these names on there that were crossed off and written in! I was actually glad of the doctor there for delivery as I felt more comfortable with him than with the previous doctor. However, you spend most of your time until the actual delivery with a nurse and when it comes time you don't really care who is there, or at least I didn't!
When Noah was born he wasn't in distress but they were concerned about the length of the labor (following the loss of amniotic fluid) and mercomium (sp) in the fluid so he was whisked directly to a waiting specialist who checked him out from head to toe and then followed up before we went home. There weren't any concerns after all but it was reassuring to have that specialist available.
Finally, the decision about medication. I'd take the drugs again in a heartbeat! The last hours were awful and I can't imagine going the whole time without help but then I'm a wimp. It's important to know yourself and your own limitations.
My journey to motherhood culminated on Thursday, Feb. 15, 2001, when I awoke to discover my water had broken. Not in the great gush you always encounter in fiction, but more of a slow trickle. I was also experiencing some cramping but as I'd had some severe Braxton-Hicks before that I couldn't be sure I was actually in labor.
I had a doctor's appointment already scheduled for later that day. It was meant to be my last as I was scheduled to be induced on Monday although my due date was not until March 1 because the baby was large and I'd already been on bed rest due to issues related to blood pressure and fluid retention. Overall I'd had a horrendous pregnancy with morning sickness that lasted the entire time and sometimes left me totally incapacitated.
After showering and eating breakfast, the pains seemed more pronounced. I felt a bit more urgency but didn't want to inconvenience anyone so I packed my bag and drove myself to the doctor's office--hours early for my appointment.
Sure enough, the nurse practioner confirmed I was in labor and called to the hospital which was fortunately next door. Within the hour I was registered and installed in my room and demanding drugs! I hadn't made a decision either way regarding natural child birth although I'd thought I could tough it out longer than that!
I called my husband at work and waited and waited and waited. Fortunately for him the drugs arrived before he did so I was feeling a bit more mellow.
The afternoon progressed rather slowly and strangely watching TV and getting regular checks.
By evening things had reached a critical point though and were ready to move. The only problem was the baby wasn't correctly positioned and various positions didn't seem to make a difference in shifting him.
Labor progressed for several more hours and the epidural wore off. I was getting more tired and progress wasn't being made. Finally, the doctor presented me with the option of a "C" section or using forceps. I decided on forceps and at 11:30 my son Noah was born weighing in at 10 pounds 2 ounces and measuring 23 inches long.
Now a few final notes about decisions and choices...
I chose my hospital basically on the recommendation of a friend (I had several to choose from within an hour's drive). There is a hospital only minutes from my house but I opted for one that was about a half hour drive as I felt I'd get better care, more services, and have a wider choice in ob-gyn. I was very happy with the hospital, the nursing staff, and the support and services we received.
I chose my ob-gyn after a bit of research into my available choices. I really wanted a woman (I've always had a woman gyn) and my friends in the area had all had men obs. All during my prenatal care I was very happy with my doctor and her staff. My husband and I always felt comfortable talking with her and asking questions.
However, when delivery time came she was on vacation, literally out of the country. Her backup was delivering another baby in another hospital so I ended up with some doctor (male!) on call and then he left in the evening and I ended up with a different doctor entirely doing the delivery. My wrist ID had all these names on there that were crossed off and written in! I was actually glad of the doctor there for delivery as I felt more comfortable with him than with the previous doctor. However, you spend most of your time until the actual delivery with a nurse and when it comes time you don't really care who is there, or at least I didn't!
When Noah was born he wasn't in distress but they were concerned about the length of the labor (following the loss of amniotic fluid) and mercomium (sp) in the fluid so he was whisked directly to a waiting specialist who checked him out from head to toe and then followed up before we went home. There weren't any concerns after all but it was reassuring to have that specialist available.
Finally, the decision about medication. I'd take the drugs again in a heartbeat! The last hours were awful and I can't imagine going the whole time without help but then I'm a wimp. It's important to know yourself and your own limitations.
Sunday, September 28, 2003
There are more books, magazines, web sites, and pamphlets than you can possible read about the subject of motherhood and yet every mother I know depends most on the input and experience of other mothers. That is the reason behind these notes.
I am not holding myself up as the ideal mother (although my child is perfect of course) but perhaps others can learn from my experiences and my mistakes. Even if it is perhaps too late to learn then perhaps they can at least take comfort from knowing that they are not alone in stumbling off the pedestal of motherhood perfection and perhaps there is someone making even bigger mistakes than their own!
I am not holding myself up as the ideal mother (although my child is perfect of course) but perhaps others can learn from my experiences and my mistakes. Even if it is perhaps too late to learn then perhaps they can at least take comfort from knowing that they are not alone in stumbling off the pedestal of motherhood perfection and perhaps there is someone making even bigger mistakes than their own!
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